What Rooms Whisper

Why do we assume that a man who is good for us cannot also be someone we genuinely find attractive? Emotional safety and attraction do not have to be an either-or. Perhaps it’s time to stop treating partnership as a compromise between heart and head.

Everyone talks about red flags when it comes to dating. But what about our own patterns? Which people do we repeatedly find fascinating – and why? An honest look at the realisation that not every complicated person is an exciting challenge, and that potential is sometimes just a rather attractive word for “not yet”.

I went to a summer party to have a lovely evening - and completely forgot that I was supposedly there to meet a man. What happened when I stopped looking and simply went somewhere I genuinely wanted to be? A story about the places we inhabit, unexpected encounters and perhaps a better way of approaching dating.

Someone can have enormous potential and still not be the right partner for you. I’ve learned that there is a crucial difference between who someone could become and what they actually bring to a relationship today. An affectionate farewell to unfinished houses - and a refusal to spend the rest of my life on the renovation

What should my ideal man be like? Perhaps that’s the wrong question. Instead of ticking off a list of qualities, what if we asked ourselves: How do I actually want to live - and who genuinely fits into that life? A radical shift in perspective when it comes to finding a partner.

I’m an interior architect - and at some point, I apparently started looking at men in much the same way as I look at houses: fascinating when there’s something to uncover and transform. Until I realised that I want to live with someone who already has a home within himself - not a renovation project I have to finish.